Autobiography: Ken Webster

As a young boy, I was raised in the Northern Kenya desert. I'm not sure exactly who my father was, as my mother had told me little about him. I understand they parted on not so good of terms, but that is another story altogether.

I developed, in my adolescent years, a love of sound and music. Despite the fact my ears had been almost completed sanded down and replaced by horns because of a rather freakish number of sand storms, and a combination of Yak saliva, I was able to grow and become a rather successful audiophile.

I remember the day I finally got on board with a3o quite vividly. I was at the Washington Park Zoo. My caretaker had just thrown in a rather large Angus carcass when I made a break for the door. Oh man what a sight. Women and children were screaming, men found themselves soiling their pants, it was amazing! I was finally able to escape by impaling most everyone in my way. But that, is another story altogether.

I ran as far as my hooves would take me, and finally stopped to rest near this house out in Hillsboro. I caught the scent of baked goods from one of the windows, and attempted to sneak inside. I was SO hungry. I think I scared the crap out of the occupants, who ended up being Jeremy and Dawn Peterson. Lovely folks who I am, to this day, glad I did not impale upon the spot. They took me in, fed me goats milk and cupcakes for a week while I related the story of my audio prowess. From there, it all started taking shape. My life, for the first time, started having true meaning.

 

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